Depending on the day, I remember the way this trip came together differently. I have my alternative sets of facts that I trot out and they always seem to make sense at the time. Now that I'm looking at the runways and storage yards of Heathrow from my beige and brick airport hotel, the beginning of this trip feels so far away, I don't feel connected to it. But I know in the beginning it was all about getting out and having an experience.

India seemed the place to do it, so I pieced together an itinerary (here's a map of my trip) that'd hit historic and cultural spots, hoping to get an idea of what makes their country theirs. They live their life and hold onto their culture and traditions without regard for the encroaching world. Arranged marriages, temples, religions… an endless wall for my western way of thinking to butt into. Every day I saw something I'd never see at home; cars driving against traffic, cows sleeping on highways, elephants walking down the street and no one but me noticed, it was just their life. No one noticed the elephant, but the big white guy... that brought people out to stare. I’d wave and smile, (being big and white was the perfect ice breaker) they’d smile back and come to me for a chat.

When I’d meet people, there were the standard questions, “What country are you from?” “Are you married?” “Do you have children?” “What is your job?” And “How much do you get paid every month?” That first batch of questions have to do with family. In the land of arranged marriages; wives, sons and daughters and their well being are measures of accomplishment, pride.

“Yes, I am married. I have a son and a daughter.” Indian head wobble.

“Wife is air hostess, son is chef, daughter is nurse.” Indian head wobble with verbal approval.

“Son is married.” Indian head wobble with verbal approval and big smile.

“Daughter has boyfriend.” Younger Indians gave the Indian head wobble with verbal approval and big smile, older ones were sort of perplexed. Boyfriends and girlfriends don’t exist in arranged marriages. But then they would dwell on it for a second and then smile approvingly.

The last questions about job and money were just facts, that’s all they wanted. The first time I was asked, “How much money do you receive every month?” I took a deep breath, keeping in mind the average daily wage in India as of 2016 was $3 US and I told him. He did the math in his head, converting from dollars to rupee and said, “That is more than many Indians make. I am glad for you.” And that was that. No guilt, judgement or recrimination. No follow up questions, asked and answered. Back to my travels and if I’ve enjoyed India so far. I realized, “How much money do you make?” has as much weight as “What is your favorite color?” They’re just curious.

Speaking of money, I loved the Indian bills. I guess if you have the smiling face of Mahatma Gandhi on each bill of your currency, you're making a statement about your values and who you are. I couldn't tell you what George Washington, Grover Cleveland or William McKinley stood for, but so many people I met could tell me something that Gandhi said, something that they think about, something they believe in and try to live. For me, seeing where Gandhi lived, where he was killed and where he was cremated was kind of a pilgrimage for me. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, he had a big impact on me. Post Steven Biko and mid-apartheid, I gravitated towards his concept of non-violence as a means of change and became so interested in him. I had a drawer full of t-shirts with his image, (Skinheads for Peace! Which kind of goes against what he would have wanted...) posters on my walls with his quotes, his talisman. When I was at the Raj Ghat, I had the perimeter to myself. Almost every one walked in, saw where he was cremated, said a prayer and left. I'd traveled to the home country of an idol, I wanted to see it all, so I was strolling around the edges when I came upon the Seven Social Sins etched in stone, Hindi on one tablet, English on another. I had the poster on my wall when I was younger and I instinctually reached out and placed my hand on it, just wanting to touch something that had such a huge impact in shaping my values. I sat by it, wondering if there was something I should do to commemorate the moment. I decided to take some pictures just for myself. The talisman was nearby too. Seeing those two where he was cremated felt like a special day.

Here are the Seven Social Sins:

Politics without principles
Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Knowledge without character
Commerce without morality
Science without Humanity
Worship without sacrifice

This is Gandhi's talisman, a guide in situations of doubt. He said:

"Whenever you are in doubt, or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the most helpless person whom you have seen, and ask yourself, if the step you are contemplating is going to be of any use to them. Will he or she gain anything by it? Will it restore him or her to control over their own life and destiny? In other words, will it lead to swaraj (freedom) for the hungry and spiritually starving millions? Then you will find your doubts and your self melt away."

I can’t separate those two from the lives I saw and the people I met. I had an Indian cab driver take me from the airport to my hotel while I was at Heathrow. We were talking, he was so excited I had visited India. He asked me how I liked it. I said I loved it. He said, “India is a poor country, but we are a happy country.” That summed up so much for me. Poor, happy, caring, empathetic, engaging, thoughtful… I saw poverty far worse than our worst, but the people were making the best of it and trying to carve out their existence and get ahead, no self pity, just pushing ahead with a smile and a head wobble.

The government’s travel slogan for India is Incredible India, you see it everywhere with various pictures of forts and ruins. They should put the faces of their people on the billboards. I can’t wait to go back. Incredible India, incredible people.

Thanks for following along, I can't begin to express my thanks for even the slightest interest.